Hurt
You absolutely destroyed me, did you know that? But you know what, I just wanna say thank you. I don’t regret meeting you, but I don’t wish you would magically come back into my life again because I believe God gives us someone like this for a reason. Someone who will hurt you a million times, someone who will leave you & not look back. But this person, they will make you a better person in the end. You will come out stronger than ever before and you will be happier without him than you were with him.

I can feel your heartbeat
I’ve found that it`s a good thing to go through heartache at one point or another in your lifetime. Not the petty, childhood heartache. But the horrible kind we’ve experienced. But see, when you get to the healing part of this, you will have so much love to share with someone. You will be able to appreciate someone in ways even you cannot understand. You will be so much stronger than you were before. I know how much this sucks right now and I know it seems unfair, but when it’s all said and done with, this will all make sense. All this pain you are going through at this moment will eventually teach you some of the greatest lessons in life you will ever need to learn.
You can’t let yourself fall for the same shit over and over. you can’t allow it to trap you up, and suffocate you until you say what it wants you to say. you can’t allow yourself to say yes everytime and fall into its arms. you need to get a grip on yourself because each time you say yes, you know for sure it’s going to end up with tears on your side. you know it’s a constant cycle, and it’s bound to happen again. seriously, get a fucking grip on yourself and walk away when you still can. because it’s a monster. it can kill you. love doesn’t die, but it can kill you.

DAYUUUUM

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

You don’t just stop loving someone.

You either always will, or never did.

I guess that’s why we never really do forget our first love. Because they were the first ones you had those intimate feelings for. And that one guy or girl you just can’t get over? You might still love them the way you used to. I know, it’s hard. But whenever I see you, I cringe a little, because the sad truth is..

I know I can’t get over you

Beautifully broken..
After a year, you’d think I’d have something great to say to you. But it turns out; avoiding a topic doesn’t make it go away. So I’ll just tell you something I believe. We do things for a lot of reasons, most of them we may never know. But even if we’ve made mistakes, I believe we still have power to change where we go from there. And even though we’ve made mistakes, I believe those are just things you’ve done, not who you are. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you hurt me very badly. But if you want forgiveness, you are forgiven. Who am I to judge the type of person you are? But let me tell you, the consequences for your actions will affect me and you for the rest of our lives. Trusting people these days isn’t easy, and this punishment you face won’t be easy either. It’s going to be really hard but you have to decide whether you want to accept responsibility and deal with the punishment or continue living like you don’t care about anyone else. You are not the things you’ve done, but you only get so many chances in life. Don’t wait to change until after you’re out of changes. There’s so much good you can accomplish in this world and I don’t ever expect to hear of you doing this to another girl ever again. It’s so much easier to tell others what to do with their problems than to stand with them in their pain. So let me make it clear that I think you hurt. I hurt everyday, for me and you. I don’t think this is where you want to be in your life right now. But if you choose to, I believe you can overcome this. I believe you will overcome this.

every time i’ve ever looked into his eyes, i got an urge. the urge is different every time. sometimes i want to jump into his arms, and sometimes i just want to remind him what it feels like to feel the chemistry in our kisses, and i even get the urge to tell him i love him, but every single time i look into his eyes, i feel the urge to not stop. i could stare into his eyes and say nothing, and walk away feeling like we just had the greatest conversation in the history of us.

Now tell me do I wish too much?
is it cause I kick it and I drink too much?
But the truth is I wanna live too much.
And you're the type of boy I'd like to give too much, till it's enough.
Please tell me I'm close to your type
Not cute but I know what's right
Not sweet but I know what's nice
and I could make you laugh and smile all night
Might mess up and say the wrong lines
and I tend to say things at all the wrong times
But I'm confident that we're so right
even with these flaws I'm not the wrong girl
Off bat, I could say I'm not book smart
but I'm smart enough to protect your heart
dump your past it belongs in the junkyard
let's hook up all we need is a jump start

I wish I was somebody special, special in your eyes

He's probably somebody's only light
Gotta shine tonight
Ooooh,
He's gotta be somebody's baby tonight


I like the way he's making me feel inside
I can't deny he's wonderful
He's walking right and talking right
This boy is so fly
He's just so unbelievable

But a boy like that would be
too far outta my league
He's gotta be someone's baby
Can't be with me
He's gotta be

I wish I was somebody special, special in your eyes

Repeat.
It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

you know my name, not my story
take a step back. fucking look at yourself. you are human. you are beautiful. you are so beautiful. and you can be anything. you can be everything. do not hate everyone because someone broke your heart, or because your parents split up, or your best friend betrayed you, your father hit you, the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid, worthless. do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. cry when you need to then let go when it’s time. don’t hang onto painful memories just because you’re afraid to forget. let go of things that are in the past. forget things that aren’t worth remembering. live for yourself. fall in love. fall out of love. fall in love. fall out of love. do this over and over until yoou know what it really is to love someone. question things. tell people how you realy feel. sleep under the stars. create. imagine. inspire. share something wonderful. meet new people. make someone’s day. follow your dreams. live your life to it’s full potential. just live, dammit. let go of all the horrible things in your life and fucking live. and one day, when you’re old, look back with no regrets.

Something I’ve realized.

I DO NOT need to go to school with my hair or make-up perfectly done. I’m not there to impress anyone anyway. I have my boyfriend for that =)

L. O. V. E.

Some days I wish I could just start fresh
completely erase everything. Erase my jealousy, erase my insecurity, erase all the mean things I’ve said and the hurt I’ve caused people. I wish I could erase my own hurt, erase all the negative things that have been said to me, erase the way certain memories make me feel. I want to erase my pride, erase my hyper-independence, erase my cynicism, erase it all. I am so sick of who I am and the way that I freak out about stuff. I’m sick of being so hurt that I can’t let anyone in. I’m sick of feeling lonely, when I shouldn’t. I’m sick of being lazy. I want to pull out a blank sheet of paper and start fresh. Forget the mistakes I’ve made and have a new beginning.

But it doesn’t work out like that. The choices I’ve made are mine and I have no one else to blame them on. I can’t just run away from my past and I can’t just run away from who I am. I just have to look that person in the eye and say “I am not going to be like this anymore. Things will change and I’m willing to work on these flaws, no matter how much it hurts or is uncomfortable.”

OH EM GEE!!

You know why I remember my exs?

.. because I know i’ve made mistakes and I don’t want to make the same over and over again. I’ve learned alot through them but it was never my intention to hurt anyone. I go through trial and error to find the one. I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to be good enough to make sure he feels loved. One of my lifes wishes. To spend my life in true happiness even through the ups and downs. We can stay together till the end.