"I believe that life is a prize, but to live doesn't mean you're alive"

This is for you

" God has a plan for your life." I have heard that so much growing up that it really did become a part of me. I believe it then, and I believe it now. Thankfully I have a much better understanding of it now than I did then. I used to believe that God had one plan for me. Just one. That there was one path for my life to follow and if I messed up then I would be doomed to live a pointless life. A life that God merely tolerated because I am his child and he has an obligation to keep his word to love me. That meant that I would have to figure out exactly what his plan for me was, and then execute it perfectly. Talk about pressure right? but thankfully, I now understand how wrong that line of thinking was.

The bible says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope, and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. This verse of scripture tells me two things that I find encouraging: 1) that he has plans for me. Plural. As in more than one, and 2) that they are good. “…Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…” Mathew 6:10. And to me that means that nothing in my life is without meaning and purpose, even the ugly stuff. I may not understand it or how it works, but that doesn’t make it any less true. “…but the plans of the Lord stand firm…” Psalm 33:11 “….what I have planned, that will I do…” Isaiah 46:11

God’s plans always come to pass. His plans cannot be thwarted. I may not know the plans he has for me, but as I walk in faith I know that I will live his plan for me. I may take a detour along the way; I may mess up and get distracted for a time. I may rush things and get out ahead of him or drag my feet and lag behind. But in the end I’ll be where I’m supposed to be, and I’ll have accomplished his will for me. Maybe that’s why it is impossible to please God without faith: we start fearing that we have missed his plan so we stop moving forward. We get mired in our mistakes, our lies, our fears and, instead of taking the necessary steps to set everything right we just stay there, acting as if we don’t know what we need to do. Let’s act, and do what we need to do.

I hope you see this. In times of hardships always seek God for guidance. He has a plan for you just as long as you are willing to accept his plan. Always remember that I am always here and no matter what, always remember to put God first before anything else. Never doubt him and never lose trust in him. If you need a good laugh or someone to talk to I am always here. PROMISE. Just always remember that your are never alone. God is always with you.

Have you ever bumped into your ex ?

The one you fell in love with ? The one who made you the happiest & cried the hardest ? The one that made you feel like you were the most special thing on Earth ? Once you see that person, you either look down on the ground while your bodies pass one another, you look at them straight in the eye with a smile that may seem like you’re OK, or you go up to them and give them a hug you’d never let go. It’s hard to see that person with someone else. You start to think that they’re better off without you, while you feel like a fool who can’t move on. Just a glimpse of that person, your mind is filled with memories you guys share. From your first date, your first hug, your first kiss, to your last. Nothing can erase the memories you had with each other. You simply can’t let go of feelings & emotions towards someone like that. It takes time. But, even with time, there will still be a piece of you that loves that person.

Did you know?

If you asked my ex's or my boyfriend what my favorite flower is they would probably say "roses".. but to be honest their not. I have received roses from my ex's and even from my boyfriend but what they really don't know is that my favorite flowers are gerber daisies. I'm not saying that I didn't appreciate it when they gave me roses because I DID! but there is something about gerber daisies that makes me so happy. I love how their so innocent, pure and its beauty is so indescribable.

Falling in love is nearly the same as the comparison of throwing a boomerang, once you throw it away from you, it will find itself to snake back into your hands and you will find yourself to catch it. As if you were falling from a hundred story building, it’s too late to regret what you’ve done once you’re only a foot away from the ground. Love, you can’t help it, by choice, if you consider to take initiative with your actions and walk away once you know you’re getting attached, you can just be smart and walk away. But most of us are the idiot ones, we all choose to stay and end up falling in love, we choose to love so unconditionally, we often forget about ourselves and lose the human being we were. We want to do everything for the person we love so much that, by the end of the day, you start to realize what kind of a monster you’re turning into and if you’re anywhere near having the abilities to be inhuman.

How is it possible? The one thing that is so abstract could affect us humans so much. I guess you can say that the things we cannot see could harm us more than the things that actually exists, I mean, at times we rather hurt ourselves physically than feel emotional pain, when clearly, pain is pain, and it’s inevitable, not much we could do about it but be strong and smile about it anyway.

We may never know it though, as much as we say we’re fine, the more we lie to ourselves, the more we kill ourselves slowly. If you’re going to kill yourself slowly, at least have some dignity in it you know? Don’t be pathetic and drown yourself in sorrows.

We always talk about the past but we never do anything about it" - anonymous <3

There’s that age-old saying “don’t say it unless you mean it.” Words are just sounds when there is no force of meaning behind them, no emotion carved out in between those letters, or sentiment imbued into every tick and curve of each character.

An empty cup is not a drink.
An empty book is not a story.
An empty heart is not living.

Empty words are not useful. Empty words cannot be properly imbibed by someone deprived and thirsting for your affection. Each word needs to be filled with some sort of sustenance in order for someone to consume them and be truly satisfied. Like a dictionary, the words you emit should come with their intended meaning. There should be no confusion behind your words. They should be composed of the writings of each heartbeat, making sure it bleeds semantics and fills your words with a voice wanting to express what your heart holds dear.

But it’s so much more than that.

Words can only go so far as they are willing to travel before they fall onto deaf ears or those who is not within earshot of your voice. Some may choose not to listen regardless of the sentiment in the form of desperation dripping from your heart.
Like a dictionary entry you need to provide an example. Your voice must be accompanied by proof of your meaning or else the voice will get drowned out by the crowd of memories where other similar voices reside.

Like a dictionary you must provide a meaning to your words in order to convey the genuineness of your heart along with an example in the form of action to prove their credibility.

My life doesn’t revolve around people anymore, it revolves around myself. And as selfish as that sounds, it is. I’m not going to take another pause or break in my life, to stop myself from succeeding, I’m not going to change the person that I am and forget about my own happiness for somebody else. I’m not going to let people tell me that my dreams are not going anywhere, and I’m definitely not going to let people ruin me anymore nor let myself forget who I am. I’m tired of being kicked around, I’m tired of pleasing everyone.

There’s nothing wrong with being selfish at this age, I’m young, and I have way too many things waiting for me in the future.

I have something waiting for me, and I’m going to get it with whatever I’m capable of doing, just to get there.