Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Who you are seeps through to the exterior..
I never get jealous of other girls who are prettier than me because quite frankly, I will never be anyone but myself. So being jealous and wishing you looked like someone else is completely pointless. You’re just wishing on the impossible, and it only contributes to insecurity and low self esteem. I’ve learned to bring myself away from ever having those feelings. I like myself for me, flaws and all. Trust me, I have many flaws, too many, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. They make me unique, and I’m happy for that. I wouldn’t change myself out of insecurity. I only change to make myself happier.

I know physical attraction plays a lot in a relationship, but it’s not everything. Even if it starts an interest, it’s not what keeps me in tact with someone. I’ve run across a few guys who are surely attractive, but they don’t have that X factor. We don’t have the spark, the flow, the right type of click to start things. I don’t stick around for just a pretty face. I’m hooked to people by the way they treat me, just the person they are in general, and the type of conversation and spark we possess. Other times, even if someone is really sweet and nice, I can’t help but think of them as a friend. That doesn’t make people “shallow”, by the way. It’s just the way you feel and you can’t change your emotions to please others.

I’ve always known that inner beauty is what makes someone lovely. I’ve lived by it for years, but lately, Rex has been making me realize how much beauty truly radiates from within. He’s one of the first guys to concentrate on who I am personality wise, rather than focusing on or judging me for what I am on the outside. That truly inspires me. He really makes me want to better myself for the deeper aspects of life rather than the superficial. Who you are seeps through to the exterior, and if someone is ugly on the inside, it’s difficult to truly call them beautiful even on the outside. Being a good person definitely remains at the top of my wants. In the past, I used to always feel like I had to better myself to make losers regret me, but that was all wrong. It only made me weaker on the inside and it was all for the wrong cause. It wasn’t for me, it was for someone else who shouldn’t have even mattered. I now focus “makeovers” on my personality and mindset. I don’t let the materialistic fulfillments in life take over my mind.

Inner beauty really does make someone that much more beautiful on the outside, and I can’t stress that enough.

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