Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Can't stop loving you
I think what I’m most afraid of, is that I’ll never be happy again. And not in a, laughing with my friends kind of happy. I mean truly happy. End of the day, falling asleep with a heart that doesn’t hurt. With a heart that doesn’t wish for something more.

For a while I had that. For almost two years. Every minute that I spent with you made me happy. Made me feel more like ME than I ever have before. I love everything about you. And on top of that, I love the way that you made me feel so content in just being ME. No pretenses, no faking, just the real me. You made me feel that I was enough. That I despite all of my faults and flaws, I was still amazing.

And then things changed..

And every day since has been a struggle. A struggle to understand why things changed. I don’t know what to do now.

I can’t let go.I don’t WANT to let you go. I know that by letting you go, I’m letting go of the only thing that has ever made me truly happy. That has calmed my mind and allowed me to just rest in the moment and be at peace. I don’t want to let that go.

I can’t make myself stop loving you. And no matter how much we try and fix things, it just gets us into a bigger mess. So where does that leave us? I’ve never been more lost….

No comments:

Post a Comment