reminiscing&pondering
Lately, I have not had the chance to have time for myself. I’ve been anywhere but home everyday. I guess all this stress over everything is getting to me again. I keep telling myself that I would stop drinking, but when it comes to the weekends, a bottle in hand is all I have. I know it’s bad relying on alcohol, because essentially it does not get rid of everything, but rather the feel calms me a bit.
My mind has not been at ease for several months now. I know I should be happy on how content my life is right now compared to those other months, but most the time I am nothing close to satisfied. I think too much on the past & future, when rather I should be thinking about the present. I guess the thoughts of my past make me want a better future, and when thinking about my future, I start stressing out. Simply because to me, the future is a scary place.
* fuuuuucccccckkk! i need a 90 average for a guaranteed admission in McGill University
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